


time, curious time

by shyish



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood friends to strangers to lovers, M/M, Post-College AU, and seokmin sings to soonyoung as a means of confession, in which the author uses folklore songs as a not-so-subtle metaphor for the progression of feelings, too bad they're both idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27229951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyish/pseuds/shyish
Summary: But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kissI knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifsSoonyoung tries not to do something stupid like whimper over the phone. He’s missed Seokmin more than he’s ever let himself admit. He misses him now, even as he sings.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17
Collections: Seoksoon Fireball Fest 2020





	time, curious time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soonyoung lets out a huff before walking into his bedroom. He flops down onto his bed and puts his phone on shuffle. For the first few songs, he relaxes. Then, he gets up and goes into the bathroom for a shower, taking his phone with him. He sings along as he washes himself and feels the heat drain out of his body. 
> 
> When Seokmin’s voice starts wafting out of his phone, he stills. He opens his eyes and turns to look at his phone, reaching out to press skip before stopping short. As Seokmin’s voice continues playing, he feels the walls of his heart tighten.

“Seokmin’s batch is having a get-together.”

Soonyoung chokes and coughs as he tries to get the water out of his lungs. He’d just come back from teaching his Tuesday dance class and had made a beeline for the fridge, exhausted and thirsty. Even as he coughs, he can’t stop himself from asking Jihoon for details.

“When? I mean— how do you know?”

Jihoon is seated at the kitchen counter, bent over his laptop. There’s a slight clench to his jaw, unnoticeable unless you’re looking for it. But Soonyoung has been his roommate for four years of college and then some. He knows all of Jihoon’s tells.

“Mingyu told me. He asked if he could invite friends, they said yes.”

“Huh,” Soonyoung mumbles. “Didn’t think he still thought of us as friends.”

There’s a loud ‘clack!’ sound as Jihoon hits the space-bar way harder than necessary. He’s been tinkering with some track for a client all afternoon; that’s partly where his frustration comes from.

“Don’t be stupid. You still think of them as your friends too.” The clacking of the keyboards pauses as Jihoon glances at him sideways. “Don’t you?”

Soonyoung takes another sip of water. He thinks about the last time all thirteen of them had been together — about five years ago. He pictures meeting Mingyu again, hugging him, laughing with him; it doesn’t feel so far-fetched. Even so, he wonders if ‘friend’ is the right word.

“I guess.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes, making a vague sound of disgust. “Whatever. I’m going so if you want, you can come with. Maybe even patch things up with Seokmin so you can stop moping.”

Soonyoung’s hand freezes on the bottle cap before screwing it back on again. “I don’t mope.”

Jihoon takes a sip from his can of cola. “Sure you don’t! You stay single for the funsies.”

Soonyoung frowns, closing the door to the fridge and turning towards Jihoon. “I just don’t feel the need to date right now.”

“Yup. And that’s got nothing to do with Seokmin or the fact that you two don’t talk anymore.”

Soonyoung lets out a huff before walking into his bedroom. He flops down onto his bed and puts his phone on shuffle. For the first few songs, he relaxes. Then, he gets up and goes into the bathroom for a shower, taking his phone with him. He sings along as he washes himself and feels the heat drain out of his body. 

When Seokmin’s voice starts wafting out of his phone, he stills. He opens his eyes and turns to look at his phone, reaching out to press skip before stopping short. As Seokmin’s voice continues playing, he feels the walls of his heart tighten..

_You can hear it in the silence, silence_  
_You can feel it on the way home, way home_  
_You can see it with the lights out, lights out_

Soonyoung still remembers that day at the Han river. He and Seokmin had taken turns cycling until they’d reached their usual spot on the riverbanks. It was a Sunday and the sun had just started setting. They hadn’t really done anything besides sit and talk. Somewhere between the absurdity of haunted houses and the mysterious disappearance of Seokmin’s hoodie, Soonyoung had looked at his best friend and realized.

_You are in love, true love_

He’d let the thought sink in, a pebble dropped into the ocean, slowly making its way down to the floor. He’d looked at Seokmin some more, his young face darker and more angular in the fading sunlight. All his life Soonyoung had looked at Seokmin, his best friend, his partner-in-crime. He had looked at him then, the very same Seokmin on the same riverbank they’d been going to since they were children. All at once, things had changed but also stayed the same.

_You are in love_

Soonyoung rushes through the rest of his shower but he never skips to the next track. He’s missed Seokmin’s voice, missed his laughter, missed his singing. He thinks about how Seokmin would sing for him and only him. He wonders if he’s sung for anyone else since.

He gets out of the bathroom and dries himself off, puts on a pair of shorts and a white tee that he all but drowns in. The entire time, his thoughts are on Seokmin. He lies down on his bed and thinks about the get-together before making his mind up. He reaches for his phone and makes a call.

.  
.  
.

“Hyung?”

Soonyoung sits up immediately, his heart lurching forward. “Seokmin! Hi. Wow, you picked up fast.”

Seokmin laughs, it comes out a bit muffled over the phone. “It’s been a while since you called. I guess I got excited.”

Soonyoung can feel his heartbeat in his ears. “It has been a while, huh? How have you been?” And then, like a habit. “I’m sorry.”

“What for? Hyung, please, it’s not like I’ve been calling you either. People get busy, it’s fine. And I’ve been alright! Just figuring some stuff out.”

He hums in response. “Did you finally learn how to play the guitar?”

“I did actually! Wanna hear me play?”

He can hear the smile in Seokmin’s voice. Already, Soonyoung feels something slotting into place. “Absolutely.”

The call goes silent as Seokmin leaves to fetch his guitar. Soonyoung lies back down, his nerves just a little less frazzled.

“I’m back! Anything in particular you wanted to hear?”

“Mm not really. But—” He hesitates just the slightest bit, “Will you sing for me too?” He rushes through the next sentence when Seokmin doesn’t respond. “Anything you want! Just for old time’s sake, it’s not necessary or anything, you can just ig—”

“No, I’ll sing for you.” Seokmin’s words seem to have come out all at once, faster than his tongue could keep up with them.

“Oh. Okay.” Soonyoung hadn’t expected him to agree. “Which song?”

He hears the guitar twinging and twanging as Seokmin starts tuning it. “I don’t think you’d have heard of it. It’s called ‘cardigan’.”

“Funny name for a song.”

He can hear a light chuckle before Seokmin responds. “I guess. I think you’ll like it though. The lyrics at least.”

A few more seconds of tuning and the guitar is ready. Soonyoung sits back up and holds his breath. He lets it out once Seokmin starts singing, paying close attention to the words.

_When you are young, they assume you know nothing_

Seokmin was right, he loves this song.

_But I knew you_  
_Playing hide-and-seek and_  
_Giving me your weekends, I_  
_I knew you_  
_Your heartbeat on the High Line_  
_Once in twenty lifetimes, I_

He closes his eyes and imagines they’re still in school, his mind drifting to the first time Seokmin had sung for him. They’d been walking home from school, fourteen and fifteen years old, when Seokmin had offered, hesitant, as if he wasn’t supposed to. Soonyoung had agreed immediately, eager like he always was when it came to Seokmin.

_But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss_  
_I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs_

Soonyoung tries not to do something stupid like whimper over the phone. He’s missed Seokmin more than he’s ever let himself admit. He misses him now, even as he sings.

_The smell of smoke would hang around this long_  
_'Cause I knew everything when I was young_

As the song comes to an end, Soonyoung puts one hand over his own heart. He feels it beat through all the muscle and skin and bone. He can’t afford to lose Seokmin, not again. Finally, the singing and the strumming come to a stop.

“Well,” Seokmin sounds a bit breathless. “Did you like it?”

“I loved it.” No whimpering, he reminds himself. “That was amazing. The lyrics, the song,” — you — “It was great, all of it.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Seokmin replies, sounding sheepish. “It felt nice. I missed singing for someone.”

Soonyoung’s heart stumbles over itself. He tries to play it cool. “Have you not sung for others?”

“People don’t exactly ask.” Seokmin’s got that particular lilt to his voice that tells Soonyoung he’s lying. “And even when they do, I don’t really feel like it.”

He’s lying, Soonyoung thinks. This means nothing, he tries to believe. He knows he’s always been quick to make assumptions; isn’t that why things had become like this in the first place?

“Well, I’m glad you felt like singing this time. Thank you.”

“Ey, aren’t you being too formal? Lighten up, hyung, come on.”

Soonyoung smiles, warm and fond. “You’re right. How about this? The next time we meet, I’ll dance for you. Give and take.”

“Oh so we’re gonna meet now?” Seokmin’s tone is light, teasing. Soonyoung is happy to play along.

“Maybe. I heard your batch is having some sort of get-together soon?”

“Oh yeah! We are. Did Minghao tell you?”

“Mingyu told Jihoon, Jihoon told me. Are you going?”

“I think so.” A beat of silence. “So you’re coming?”

Soonyoung finds himself picking at the ends of his shorts. “Can I? I mean, I will if you’ll have me.”

“Aw hyung, you’re always welcome. Honest.”

“Thanks, Seokmin.” And he means it. “I have to get to a dance class now,” — now this was a lie — “but I’ll see you there?”

“See you there, hyung.”

The line goes dead and Soonyoung finally relaxes, falling face first into the nearest pillow and turning beet red, the tops of his ears meltingly hot. He gives himself a few minutes before looking at his phone again. He opens Files and goes to Audio, clicking on the most recent recording. As Seokmin’s sweet voice spills out of the speakers, he tries to feel even a shred of regret. He fails.

Soonyoung spends the rest of the day in his bed, on his laptop, mindlessly clicking in and out of websites. He has his earphones on the entire time, Seokmin’s singing and the song’s lyrics coming together to form the ghost of a feeling that’s always haunted him.

_'Cause I knew you_  
_Steppin' on the last train_  
_Marked me like a bloodstain, I_

_And when you are young, they assume you know nothing_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why yes, i did write a songfic in the year of our lord 2020. don't do seoksoon kids, it gives ya brainworms. chapters will be posted on a weekly/bi-weekly basis depending on my academic schedule! please do let me know your thoughts<3 this is my first svt fic and i really do cherish the concept of it so i hope the execution did it some justice >< thank u for reading!!!


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